Motivation For Change
When I'm with someone and they start engaging more with their phone, I feel so deflated. That we're then close in distance alone. And it persists past their putting their phone away - it then takes time for me to recover from the deflation.
This is both captured and evoked in The Death of Conversation:
And I'm left wondering, at what point do we become The Electric State?
I don't want to be a part of this. I don't want to be the reason those around me feel similarly deflated. I want the present moment to be recognized as enough.
But phones are generally tethered to their owners, with a constant call to be used. Even in the shortest of dull moments it often becomes too enticing to ignore.
No longer simply tools, phones are instead a lens through which the world can be viewed. What you see may be divorced from reality, but it's often more captivating.
With my peace disrupted, my attention fragmented, and my being isolated, it had become too much.
Small Steps
As mentioned in my On Reclaiming Attention, I tried first to lessen my smartphone usage. I set it to silent, turned off all notifications, and deleted my social media accounts. These alone greatly improved my quality of life.
But I wanted to go further. I was still spending more time than I liked on my phone, largely browsing Reddit and YouTube. Both of which are feed-generating websites with so much content that you really can get lost in them. I deleted my accounts on both so that I wouldn't receive personalised recommendations that I'm more likely to engage with.
Better.
I tried greyscale mode for reduced visual stimulation. And it worked, for a time. But eventually you have a need for colour again, so you turn it off. Suddenly, it becomes hard to turn back on. There's so much colour, and it's so vibrant. Why would I ever want it to be otherwise? Still, you persist in turning it back on. But you never forget how easy it was to turn off.
The story is much the same elsewhere, in deleting & disabling apps and imposing ScreenTime limitations: you never forget how easy it is to go back, and so you often do.
Going Nuclear
I was losing my battle with all this optionality. I decided it would instead be better to just take it all away.
So last October, a year ago now, I got a dumbphone. A Nokia 2660 Flip. Then later a Nokia 235 4G 2024 for it's candybar form-factor and USB-C charging port, besides that they're much the same.
And they both really are quite awful.
They each have a camera, though I don't know why because the quality is such that you'd never want to use it anyway. Still, if you were ever to try and take a photo, it often fails. Curiously, you can still take videos, though when trying to play one back you're informed that the file type is not supported.
The web browser wants to re-install itself every time you access the internet but that also often fails. Though, if you are lucky enough for it to work, you then get the worst possible browsing experience. You decide it's simply not worth it, and stop.
Coming from a smartphone, it takes a ludicrously long time to type out a message on the T-9 keyboard. And you better not send out too many, because the storage gets full after 150 or so. You then have to start deleting the old ones to make space for the new. That's even after having separately purchased a Micro SD card to expand capacity - unbeknownst to me prior to purchasing, messages can't be stored on it for whatever reason.
But you're committed to texting, it's a basic functionality after all - almost a necessity. Well, now you're battling with the screen size:
Additionally, there's no app store. There's no way to get directions, share your location, access online banking, message group chats, use a ride-share app, or video-call people.
But despite it all, I find myself sticking with it.
The Aftermath
Many of what appears to be initially negative can be re-framed as positive under a different light.
I like taking longer to type out a message. It gives me time to think about what I want to say and how to best get that across.
I like not having instant access to the internet. I don't need to immediately answer all questions that may arise. I now let things go unanswered. Anything that is important enough will persist until I'm at a computer where I can then find the answer. Meanwhile, I can develop my critical thinking skills pondering what it may be.
I like not having real-time directions. Instead, I plan routes before hand based on landmarks that I'm familiar with. If I need to, I write a note and bring it with me. In this way I have to pay more attention to my surroundings.
I like not having an incredibly portable yet powerful camera that I can point at anything and everything. I have a separate camera where use is much more intentional. I do miss being able to send and receive photos of day-to-day life, but I also enjoy being more present for these moments as they unfold.
I like reading physical books. I find I retain the information much better and it's generally a more enjoyable experience, if slightly inconvenient, than the digital equivalent.
I like not having the world's music library ready and willing whenever and wherever I am through a music-streaming service. I can still play downloaded music or stream radio stations, but I haven't had a desire to. I find that in making my listening more of a rarity, I enjoy it more in those moments. I'm also less frequently taken away from the present moment, be it good or bad.
With it being harder to communicate with people, I do feel a greater sense of disconnection, and it can get lonely. But this incentivizes in-person meeting, which generally trends towards being more valuable, and in becoming more comfortable with oneself. I find most connections held largely through social media to be very shallow and I'm then left disappointed when I mistake them to be more.
I don't like having to print off tickets to events, but I'm willing to live with it.
Overall, for me, right now, it works.
I find it's all at a slower, more natural pace. I'm more attentive and appreciative of my surroundings. I'm more at peace.
It's not all positive, but it doesn't have to be. It just has to be net-positive - for the good to outweigh the bad. No solution to anything will ever be perfect and we have to be willing to make do with the inevitable trade-offs.
Not everyone will need such drastic measures, and I don't know if I'll stick with it forever, but it's been a nice reset for me after having been increasingly digitally connected for much of my life.
Maybe now, after having reset, I can better restrict my use of a smartphone so that I can have the best of both worlds. Still, I think I'm going to stick with my Nokia for the time being.